Have you ever felt zero? Blank, empty and void. As if there was nothing that was ever done by you. Nothing ever achieved by you. And even if there was, doesn't make any difference today. Because today you have failed. Big time.
There is no ego, no motivation, no happiness. Numb, is all that you are. You know what it will take to get there from here. You know you can do it. But you are tired to begin.
Begin all over, once again. The snake bit you at 90 odd, you are back in the first row of the game. No ladder seems inviting enough.
One of the few moments in life when you remember God. Think how He functions, what His aims in His life might be. A realisation dawns on how selfish you are to remember God only now. All claims of perfection in aspects of your life have turned false. You are stranded.
The only way out to come out of the chakravyu is action, out of self belief.
Will you believe in yourself one more time?
Will you act?
5 comments:
So many times I have felt this feeling I cannot tell you... A feeling of utter helplessness, irrational deject and surrender. Only action works in such a state. Infact, thoughts of any kind must be curtailed because they aggravate this feeling. Action of any kind works for me - sport, run, dance, martial art. It helps you return to a state of equanimity. Often, I have spent days together trying to think myself out of such a state. But thoughts are futile... I can absolutely identify with this post. Absolutely.
yupp..but its just the kind of push I need rite now..tht one little jerk which will bring me back to reality..thnx dude.
awesome post...
just that life's crossroads has bringing me to see zero one time too many - har quiz aur exam paper mein yahi toh milta hai dekhne ko :D
lolz
on a more serious note you should keep it up and I think I need to get back to my studies ;)
oh yes... i do feel it a lot. And the feeling is unreasonable, killing and forever pulling you down. Nothing seems good enough. Everything is a waste. And the only way to get over it, is to not try to. Just relax, let it lie deep in you and slowly when you feel happy it goes. At least, for me - it does!
A countless number of times. And what you write here is more or less the way I feel too. There is no way out but to act! Anything - eating, cleaning up the desk, walking to the market & back, even falling asleep maybe.
What I can't take at times like these is just sitting around wallowing in thought. For every sin, but for the killing of time, there is forgiveness.
Cheers. Keedas. Peace.
PS: Since when have you been on Blogger? Good to see you! And vannakkam :D
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