I don't get sleep. I'm tired, mentally and physically. I've had a full meal, Chicken Tikka Biryani! I feel heavy, my eyes are close to shutting off, but they don't. Not because they don't want to. I'm too tired to think. It's 5 am already. I get hold of my keys and my wallet and walk down. Two dogs come to sniff me as I get out of the gate. I had no memory of stealing anything. They prove my memory strong as they walk away and laze on their concrete beds. I walk towards the 'chai' tapri and get myself a biscuit packet. It was hunger.
I very quickly ate all the biscuits. It was glucose. My favourite. Then i ask the guy for tea and go and sit on the chair. Everyone around me is smoking. Couldn't take it early in the morning. After walking a little away, I enjoy the garam masala chai. I go to the chai wala and pay him. I look at the biscuit packet and ask for one more pack of glucose biscuit. I realise that I'm not hungry, yet I want the packet. It dawns in the dawn, its not hunger.
I apologize to the chai wala and return to him the biscuit pack. I start walking towards home. I look up at the sky and see how it is changing colours from a deep blue to hues of purplish red.
As I enter my gate with my head hanging down, frustrated for not know the cause of my behaviour, I realise I'm looking for something.It's a game. A game that I've not yet played.
4 comments:
It's not called hunger, it's called exams...They are capable of playing funny tricks on you without you having any idea about it, especially if they've gone on for too long. But no worries coz they are almost at an end, just one more to go and then bliss! So cheer up, you are not going crazy! Best of luck for the last one. Rock it (as such!)
Not exams Ro! Not the first time that this has happened. Wonder what I am looking for.
its the need for human touch... the breif association of knowing that you are in the presence og human company, after a great deal of time spent alone in the sterilized world of knowledge and education... its a funny thing- humanity... sometimes i wonder where it is leading us, but then i wonder, where would we be without it....
the brain's a muscle too, you know... switching it off once in a while is infy peace...
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